When the Bears Came Back but the Horse Won

Life has been good.  We have had a few rough patches, but overall life has been easy.  The holidays are always tough because there is less routine and a lot more sugar.  However, we made it through.  I thought that we were on the home stretch.  We have been going to counseling for almost one year.  My little guy mainly has happy thoughts and draws happy pictures.

Unfortunately, all of this changed in two weeks.  I wish that I had a time machine so that  I could go back and observe the past two weeks.  I think I would have noticed some of the small signs that we were in for the big one.  Life has been so happy and good that I didn’t see the bear slowly creeping back into our lives.

He appeared on Sunday.  None of know what triggered the rage that my little guy experienced.  He doesn’t know why he couldn’t stop it that time.  He was not in control of himself or of his emotions.  Luckily, he is only eight so we have time.  Since Sunday, he is still quite manic.  He explains that he cannot slow his body or his brain down.  He does not want to be here.  He does not want to feel this way.

Today, we went to counseling.  He verbalized his feelings and his inability to control those feelings.  We decided to meet again next week because he didn’t change much in this session.  Then I took him to go horse back riding.  Horses are amazing.  Horses may save my child some day.  They can feel what their rider is feeling.  You must be calm.  You must be quiet.  You must confident, in control and yet humble.

My little guy started on the horse slumped over and looking at the ground.  The horse remained still.  The instructor explained again that the horse can sense your feelings.  If you feel inadequate, the horse will not trust you and he will not move.  Slowly over the hour, I watched my child transform.  He sat up tall on the horse.  He was focused.  He remained calm. He willed the horse to work with him.

We walked out together smiling and amazed at the power of horse.  The horse saved us from the bear-at least for a day.

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